L!Z

about:
hihi i'm liz and this is my little website which serves as my safe corner of the internet hehe. i use this place as a way to express thoughts i otherwise can't tell most people irl. thank u for visiting! <:be sure to be on the lookout for hidden pages !

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u can read my entries here:

profile url:
https://ecogas.carrd.co

interests:
singing, writing, video games, movies, art, playing my ukulelemusic:
the smashing pumpkins, deftones, ic3peak, björk, rammstein, nine inch nails, hole, KMFDM, the cure, akira yamaoka, rory in early 20s, vocaloid, breakcore, perfume, bôa, bones, yung lean, bladee, ecco2k, tyler, the creator, sematary, buckshot, ghost mountain, turnabout, etc.movies:
fight club, pulp fiction, the dark crystal, silence of the lambs, the talented mr. ripley, grease, donnie darko, etc.television:
the munsters, south park, courage the cowardly dog, etc.

n a v i :
about
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archive
important dates
misc. links
stories i've...made.
site updates !

hehe a collection of worst things i've ever written. most of them are unfinished.The mere thought of her giving in caused her eyes to water, yet she didn't seem to mind at all.Walking towards the river she softly sighed, bending down near the edge. "Lots of things wouldn't really be affected without me here," she said. "in fact, none of it has any meaning in the first place. I'm right, aren't I?" she asked aloud, her tired eyes only focusing on the small abyss that quietly flowed in front of her.As if to respond to her question, the water only became a tad bit louder. The only thing that managed to escape her lips was a small chuckle. It's as if the sound of the water responding to her thought process being irrational and silly had been a confirmation of some sort."However," she began. "it never truly seems as though anyone will ever get who I am as a person; the mere thought of fitting in sounds like a dream only a child would wholeheartedly believe in. The only way to go about things is to accept the reality of the situation - that I am, in fact, a bother to everyone, and everything." She proudly stated, content at the fact that no one could object and make her think otherwise.Letting out a scream of that had been a mix of both anger and sadness, her voice began to grow hoarse as it rose, reaching only the trees and animals surrounding it."I wonder if it's all my fault; if I really am the reason why they all left. Wouldn't changing myself defeat the purpose of being myself in the first place?!" She loudly asked as the pain in her throat grew ever more appearent.Watching the little fish float about in the water made her wish she too could start anew and mindlessly go about through the notions, just as the tiny creature did. No people to talk to, no relationships to maintain, and absolutely no emotional rollercoasters to involuntarily take part of!Letting out another sigh, she softened her gaze on the water. "Amelia the fish....I quite like the sound of that." she said, a tinge of happiness now found in her voice.Although she herself knew how childish that alone had sounded, she contently got up and dusted off her dress, which had been slightly affected by her earlier walk towards the river.Quickly turning around to head back to her destination, she marched happily, humming with every sway she made.Although life had seemed hopeless, it was only for a moment. Amelia knew this very well, but just as the fish had been going through life despite its rough moments, she found solace in that fact alone.She also came to realize that people will come and go, and that alone shouldn't scare her and make her resort to creating a new personality for herself.Profusely thanking the fish in her mind, she made a mental note to remind herself the next time life felt too heavy for her small shoulders.Becoming a fish now would only hinder her from improving on the things she needed to fix about herself.For now, she will stay as Amelie the human.☆ ☆ ☆

Isaac stared at his computer screen, typing his heart away as he blasted his music through his headphones. The phone had been ringing incessantly, yet each cry it made had fallen on deaf ears.It had been a week since he and Andre had spoken; another argument caused by something so insignificant, yet it managed to create a huge rift between the two. Isaac was sure this was the last straw and had been planning on keeping up the act of ignoring Andre until the other boy had gotten the hint.Still, he couldn't help but think about how different things could've been handled as his fingers moved on their own, forming run on sentences and typos -- but none of that mattered at the moment. Right now, he was throwing his thoughts onto the digital document; things only meant for his eyes and his eyes only.Slightly moving his bangs to the side, he let out a deep sigh, unsatisfied with everything going on in his life so far. First he had been confused over who he truly was, and now he had to deal with an argument with his best friend that was completely uncalled for, especially when none of it was his fault?'Typical Andre,' the brunette thought to himself. 'Of course I was the one who started all of this. It's never him.' he shook his head softly, refusing to accept the automatic position he had been placed in.Content with what he managed to let out, he stretches and decides to check his phone.Fifty missed calls from Andre, and one text message. The text simply contained the words "Answer, fucker." and nothing more. Isaac could already imagine how great his best friend's anger had become knowing he wasn't given the attention he sought for when he called him after the first time.Staring at the cieling and contemplating on his next move, he decides to call the angry boy back. Repeatedly reminding himself to not stoop to Andre's level, no matter how tempting it may be, he presses the 'Call' button."Hello?" He shakily asked, the fear very much evident in his tone of voice. Great. There goes acting unbothered. Now he'd be seen as vulnerable and a target of the black-haired boy's wrath."Why in the fuck did you not answer the first time I called?!" Andre angrily shouted into the phone."Was busy." was all he managed to reply with. The fear had been replaced with slight frustration."Yeah, right. Bullshit. I know you were inside the whole fucking day as always, Isaac." He countered.Getting up from his seat to his bed, he made himself comfortable. "No clue what you mean. Mom was busy so I tagged along. Just got home."A dramatic gasp could be heard on the other side of the line. "Isaac, busy?! Only an idiot would believe that." "And you're not one?" "Fuck off.""I pass." He happily answered, knowing how it easily ticked Andre off."That's not what I meant, you dumbfuck!" He shouted at the brunette.The silence had been quickly replaced with☆ ☆ ☆She sighed, picking up her phone one last time. "I wonder what all the fuss is about?" she quietly asked herself. The bright light illuminated her dark room, momentarily blinding her in the process.Looking around, she☆ ☆ ☆"It couldn't be that simple, could it?" she asked, her head resting on her arm and she looked at the screen in front of her.While it was known that her boyfriend would disappear for long periods of time, deep down she knew how much he loved her and vice versa. To say that neither parties held any sort of genuine love towards one another would be considered a lie.She softly shook her head and recounted their previous date at the museum; the fun they shared and how helpful it had been for her, personally. With his character, he wouldn't have made any time together had that been the case. She was certain that she knew him that much to be able to somewhat reassure herself that the worst case scenario was just that - a result of her overimagination.The two had been together for a total of two years so far, and she was certain that it'd be more with time. Their way of going about this relationship wasn't practical, but it made sense to them and they knew how to make it work.That was until Micah came into the picture. The audacity of that man to magically waltz into her life unannounced and sweet talk her as if he had a chance to begin with. The mere thought of his failed attempts annoyed her, but she'd be guilty of possibly giving him a chance.He was three years older and had the confidence that made her want to scream into her pillow and possibly scream her lungs off in the middle of the woods. There was nothing about this guy that could make him sweep her off of her feet, despite saying otherwise. Of course he had it in him to apologize when he recognized how awkward she had become when she wasn't moved by his choice of words, but that didn't make him any less of an annoyance in her eyes.

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"Today is the greatest
Day I've ever known
Can't live for tomorrow
Tomorrow's much too long
I'll burn my eyes out
Before I get out
I wanted more
Than life could ever grant me
Bored by the chore
Of saving face
Today is the greatest
Day I've ever known
Can't wait for tomorrow
I might not have that long
I'll tear my heart out
Before I get out
Pink ribbon scars
That never forget
I tried so hard
To cleanse these regrets
My angel wings
Were bruised and restrained
My belly stings..."

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